The Question That Changes Everything

Here’s a question that stopped me in my tracks this week: What happens when your seven-year-old realizes they’re not just moving to a new country—they’re becoming a missionary?

This week has been nothing short of extraordinary as we find ourselves back at ABWE headquarters, watching our children participate in MK Orientation. But here’s what’s beautiful and exciting about this experience: our kids aren’t just learning that they’re Missionary Kids—they’re discovering they’re Kid Missionaries, called to share the gospel with other children they’ll meet along this journey.

Watching this lightbulb moment happen has been one of the most profound parenting experiences of our lives.

The Third Culture Reality: Beautiful and Complicated

There’s a term that perfectly captures what our children are stepping into: Third Culture Kids, or TCKs. These remarkable young people grow up in a culture that’s different from how their parents were raised, yet it’s also distinct from the culture they’ll call home overseas. In our case, our kids will experience something uniquely their own—not fully American, not fully South African, but mysteriously, powerfully, and uniquely their own “third” culture.

The concept was first developed by anthropologist Ruth Hill Useem in the 1950s, and researchers have been studying TCKs ever since. What they’ve found is fascinating: these kids often become incredibly adaptable, culturally intelligent, and globally-minded adults. But the journey isn’t always easy.

Fun Fact: Studies show that TCKs are four times more likely to earn bachelor’s degrees than the general population, HOWEVER they’re also more likely to struggle with identity questions and “rootlessness” as adults. The very experiences that make them globally competent can also create a sense of not fully belonging anywhere.

That reality can feel lonely sometimes, especially for children who are just beginning to understand what this calling means. It’s wonderful. Beautiful. Magnificent. But lonely.

The ABWE Difference: Nobody Walks Alone

Here’s where we see God’s incredible provision through ABWE’s ministry. This organization doesn’t just send missionaries—they care for missionary families with intentionality that takes our breath away. Watching them work this week has been like getting a masterclass in what holistic member care actually looks like.

Two departments have particularly captured our hearts this week:

Member Care guides and supports our entire family through every transition, challenge, and celebration. They understand that healthy missionaries create sustainable ministry. Their team includes licensed counselors, experienced missionary parents, and practical life coaches who help families thrive, not just survive, on the mission field.

MK Education focuses specifically on raising, supporting, and resourcing our children. They recognize that missionary kids need specialized care and understanding. This isn’t just about academic curriculum (though they excel there too)—it’s about emotional intelligence, cultural adaptation, identity formation, and spiritual development in a cross-cultural context.

What moves us most is watching our children connect with other MKs who “get it.” They’re surrounded by peers who understand the unique calling on their lives, and many of the volunteers running MK Orientation are TCKs themselves—living proof that this journey creates incredible, globally-minded believers who are making impacts around the world.

The Beautiful Complexity of Identity Formation

“When someone asks where you’re from, what do you say?”

For TCKs, this simple question can be incredibly complex. Our kids might say “America” because that’s their passport country, but they’re about to spend their formative years in Durban. They might say “South Africa” because that’s where they’re growing up, but their cultural reference points include American holidays, English as a first (and currently only) language, and family traditions that don’t quite fit either place.

The answer they’re learning is both simple and profound: “I’m from everywhere and nowhere, and that makes me uniquely positioned to build bridges between cultures for the gospel.”

This week, they’re learning practical skills for navigating this complexity:

• How to explain their family’s calling to new friends
• Ways to stay connected to friends back home
• Strategies for embracing South African culture while maintaining their family identity
• Most importantly, how to see their unique position as a ministry opportunity

Research That Validates the Journey

For parents sending children into this TCK experience, it’s encouraging to know there’s substantial research backing up the positive outcomes. Interaction International, a leading organization supporting global families, has extensive resources showing how TCKs develop exceptional cross-cultural communication skills, adaptability, and global perspective that serve them throughout their lives. Their research shows that while the challenges are real, the benefits far outweigh the difficulties when families receive proper support and preparation.

Testimonies That Transform Hearts and Minds

Yesterday, one of the MK volunteers shared a testimony that had the entire room captivated. They shared how, as a child, they saw on the calendar that their little sister had gotten saved, and their parents were marking her “spiritual birthday” to remember and celebrate next year. He was upset, because as the older brother, he thought he should be leading the way! So, not wanting to be left out, he followed along and said the words, thinking at the time that that was enough.

But it wasn’t until middle school that he realized he’d gone through the motions without truly surrendering his heart to Jesus. Reflecing on that and praying sincerely that Jesus would forgive him and accept him into His family changed everything! He now has a new perspective on his TCK identity, his family’s calling,  and his own purpose in God’s kingdom. In fact, he’s now at college studying to become a counselor for TCKs!

This testimony resonated deeply with the kids in the room because it came from someone who understood their exact situation. There’s something irreplaceable about hearing truth from someone who’s walked your path, faced your challenges, and come out stronger on the other side.

Real Preparation for Real Challenges

The orientation isn’t just feel-good sessions, team building, and exploring international snacks (though there’s plenty of all of that)! These kids are getting practical preparation for the realities they’ll face. They’re learning how to navigate questions about why they live so far from grandparents, how to explain their family’s work without sounding “weird,” and how to maintain friendships across time zones and continents.

They’re also diving deep into understanding the spiritual environment they’re entering. For our family, heading to Durban means entering a complex religious landscape where syncretism—the blending of Christianity with traditional African religions and other belief systems—creates unique challenges and opportunities for gospel ministry.

Global Kids for Global Ministry

What strikes us most is how these children are being prepared not just to survive overseas, but to thrive as global citizens who see the world as their ministry field. They’re learning that their unique perspective as TCKs isn’t a burden to bear but a gift to steward.

The MK Alumni Association provides incredible ongoing support and networking opportunities for these kids as they grow up. Their alumni go on to become doctors, business leaders, pastors, teachers, and missionaries themselves, using their cross-cultural skills to impact the world in countless ways.

Looking Forward with Anticipation and Purpose

As we head into the remaining days of orientation, we’re filled with anticipation. Our children are growing in their faith while preparing for cultural transition, developing friendships that will support them for years to come, and embracing an identity that’s both challenging and incredibly purposeful.

We aren’t just preparing for our lives in South Africa—we’re raising children who see the world as their mission field and understand they have a unique role to play in God’s global story. They’re not just missionary kids being dragged along for the ride; they’re Kid Missionaries with their own calling, their own gifts, and their own opportunities to share the gospel.

We can’t wait to see what God teaches them in the days ahead as they embrace this beautiful, complex, and incredibly meaningful identity. The foundation being laid this week in Pennsylvania will impact not just their time in Durban, but the rest of their lives as they carry this global perspective wherever God leads them.

They’re not just becoming TCKs—they’re becoming world-changers.