No, really, I’m not asking you for money!

I need to confess something: I used to completely misunderstand missionary support raising. In my head, it was this awkward dance of spiritual euphemisms around asking for money. You know the drill – the slideshow, the prayer letter, that coffee meeting where everyone knows what’s coming…

But God has a way of humbling us, doesn’t He?

Here I am, preparing to serve in Durban, South Africa, and everything I thought I knew about missionary support has been turned upside down. My wife Abbey and I are already at 11% of our monthly support (estimated, including pledges), and the reallycrazy thing? We haven’t actually asked anyone for money yet.

Wait, what?

Yeah, you read that right. Somehow, just through honest conversations about what God’s doing in Durban, people have started volunteering to partner with us. No begging, pleading, or hour-long PowerPoint required. (Though I do have one ready, just in case you’re into that sort of thing…) 😂

Fundraising in the Bible

Let me tell you about Nehemiah. Here’s a guy who worked for the king of Persia, saw a need in Jerusalem, and did something that completely changes how I view support raising: he prayed first, prepared thoroughly, and then just… had an honest conversation. When the king asked what was wrong, Nehemiah shared his heart about Jerusalem’s broken walls, and before he even made his ask, the king said, “What do you want?” Nehemiah was ready with specifics – time off, materials, letters of support – and got everything he needed.

But here’s where it gets really interesting: Jesus Himself showed us this pattern of kingdom partnership. In Luke 8, we learn that Jesus – you know, the guy who could multiply bread and fish – was supported by a group of women “who were helping to support them out of their own means.” Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Susanna, and others were literally partnering in Jesus’ ministry through their resources.

Jesus was teaching them something I’m just starting to understand: when you’re doing God’s work, God’s way, He already has the supply chain worked out. The disciples weren’t begging; they were offering something invaluable – the gospel – and Jesus knew communities would partner with them.

This hits home for Abbey and me as we prepare for Durban. We’re not just raising support to move overseas; we’re inviting people to partner in something bigger. Abbey will be working with Beautiful Feet International, supporting women through pregnancy and family crises in a country where 24% of pregnancies end in abortion. I’ll be helping churches combat false teaching and establish authentic online presences – because right now, when Durbanites Google “church,” they’re more likely to find prosperity gospel preachers than solid Biblical teaching.

Three-Way Partnership

Our pastor jokes that Romans and Philippians are basically Paul’s support-raising letters… and he’s not wrong! But Paul never approached it as “help poor little me” – he constantly talked about “partnership in the gospel” (Philippians 1:5). He saw supporters as co-laborers in God’s work, not just donors to his cause.

And that brings us to something that has completely transformed how I view support raising: the triangle relationship.

Picture this: instead of me awkwardly asking you for money (trust me, I’d rather not), we’re both looking up to God, asking Him what He wants to do in Durban. I’m asking God, “How will You provide for this ministry You’ve called us to?” You’re asking God, “Where do You want me to invest in Your kingdom?”

This isn’t just nice theory – it’s how we’ve reached 11% of our support without making a single direct ask. As we share what God is doing – the churches needing help to share truth in a sea of prosperity gospel, the women seeking hope and support through Beautiful Feet International – people have literally interrupted us to ask how they can be part of it.

And here’s where ABWE comes in (no, they’re not God, but they are pretty great at accountability). When someone feels led to partner with us, they’re not just writing checks to Joe and Abbey. They’re giving to God’s work through an organization that helps everyone be good stewards. They have specific spending limits, approval processes, and financial accountability systems that make sure every dollar goes where it’s supposed to go.

(Fun fact: Even if someone accidentally added an extra zero to their donation, we couldn’t just go buy a sports car in Durban. ABWE has systems in place that require different levels of authorization for spending. God’s provision requires good stewardship!)

This triangle (God, missionary, and partner) takes all the awkwardness out of support raising, because it puts the focus where it belongs: on God’s work, God’s provision, and God’s people working together for His kingdom.

So what does this look like in practice?

When Abbey and I sit down for coffee with someone (and yes, there will be many coffee meetings – that sweet, sweet nectar that fuels us), we’re not thinking “How do we convince them to give?” We’re sharing what God is already doing in Durban, and how He’s invited us to be part of it.

We tell them about the churches that need help breaking through the noise of false teaching online. We share about the 42% of children in single-mother homes who need support and hope. We talk about how Beautiful Feet International is already making a difference in women’s lives, and how Abbey’s thirteen certifications in women’s health will help expand that impact.

And then we simply invite them to pray about whether God wants them to be part of this story.

That’s it. No pressure, no manipulation, no spiritual arm-twisting. Because here’s what I’ve learned: if God wants someone to partner with us, He’ll make that clear to them. Our job isn’t to convince; it’s to connect people with what God is doing.

Sometimes that partnership looks like prayer; we desperately need people committed to praying for Durban. Sometimes it’s monthly financial support – whether it’s $25 or $250, every partnership helps build sustainable ministry. Sometimes it’s a special gift toward our moving costs (because apparently, shipping our dining room table would cost more than buying a new one in Durban… who knew?).

But every single partnership, regardless of the form it takes, is about something bigger than us. It’s about God’s kingdom advancing in Durban. It’s about churches being equipped to share truth effectively. It’s about women finding hope and support in crisis. It’s about families being transformed by the gospel.

So no, I’m not actually asking you for money. I’m inviting you to ask God what He wants you to do.